"As A Trans Man, Thanks For Being So Welcoming Of Trans Men; Weird That There's No Trans Women Here"
|Daniel Lavery||Jun 22, 2019|| 88|
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I overheard you guys talking about trans inclusion, and I mostly wanted to say, as a trans man who feels super welcome at this specifically women’s-only event, I really appreciate it, and to thank you all on behalf of trans women for being so inclusive. I don’t happen to see any trans women here at the moment, but I feel really welcome, and I assume those things are directly transferable. If I were a trans woman, and you all treated me the same way that you treat trans men – which I assume you do - I’d feel super welcome, just very relaxed and easy-going.
I imagine all the trans women are carpooling here, so they’ll probably show up later? But I feel think it’s pretty safe to assume that they’re all super comfortable and relaxed and on their way, and they’ll probably appreciate my saving them some time by thanking you in advance. Because, right, if it’s a women’s thing, but you all still want me here for this exact, again pretty-specific women’s thing because you sort of think of me as my birth sex no matter what, then by the transitive property you’ll have no trouble at all seeing trans women as women whose own particular needs, experiences, and desires really matter to the community. Like, I know transmisogyny is a real problem for trans women. And I guess when you think about it, I’ve experienced transphobia, and I’ve experienced misogyny, so I have suffered from transmisogyny too, thanks for putting it that way. It’s basically just the same thing: we’re all suffering from transmisogyny, and if you’re happy to offer me a place here conditional on my assigned sex at birth, then later – when all the trans women show up – they’re going to feel so great. You know? I can’t wait to tell them how inclusive you guys have been towards me. I don’t really think it’s super-important to dwell exactly on why you’ve all been super inclusive towards me, or what the obvious counterexamples might be, I’m down to just assume it’s for great reasons. I don’t want to get super-bogged-down in the details of whether my particular conditional acceptance at this specific event comes at anyone else’s expense, even if only by implicit comparison, because I’m having a really nice time and everyone’s being super nice to me, and if there’s an obvious glaring absence, at least everyone’s being super polite about it. When they get here later, I’ll be sure to let them know I’ve already thanked everybody on their behalf, so they don’t have to.
What’s up? Hmm?
Whoa, that’s heavy. Well, uh, I hope you and trans women can find a way to work it out, that definitely sounds rough. It really sounds like more of a personal issue between you two, but good luck, for sure have some good luck.