Carmela Soprano and Husband-Ham

The Sopranos is a show about a woman who cannot calm her husband down, no matter how much ham is in the fridge. He is absolutely furious with crime, this big tall husband, and his name is Mr. Don’t You Do That Bathrobe. You are Carmela Soprano, and your mouth is falling-down sad into your neck. Your job is to say to your husband his most important problem, and then describe the meat in the fridge, pork only. You know already the things most unbearable to you. Name the ham. My husband is the pig who won’t listen. I’ll tell him everything, I’ll tell him the ham’s name, I’ll shout in the kitchen, the big cold room where no one listens.

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