How To Win Any Argument By Retreating Into Your Mind Palace

Previously: Doing something you dislike? Have you tried paying less attention?

Are you in a fight you’ve been trying very hard to avoid with a loved one? Do you gauge your own sense of emotional security according to how many arbitrary secrets you’ve successfully kept private since your last fight? Does the mere possibility of interpersonal conflict reduce you to tears, such that you don’t trust yourself to ever successfully communicate your point of view after you’ve lost your composure? The secret of arguing is the trapdoor-brain exit route right next to the memory: Hustle into your Mind Palace and slide down it!

Perks include:

  • Castle in your brain that’s also a playground hideout

  • Your Outside Face is working and nodding and saying “Yes” or “No” while you’re scuttling freely across the swingset of your private thoughts

  • No one else can come inside

  • All agreements words go outside, all secret disagreements in the free chambers of the Mind Palace you’re climbing on

  • Now you can agree with everything someone else is saying

  • Nobody knows you’re winning

  • Winning’s the most secret thing of all

  • Never say no to nothing

  • No listening in the secret grotto

  • Brain is a flock of bats nesting quietly holding fruit

  • “Mmm”

  • Everything’s agreement

  • Smooth smooth smooth smooth smooth

  • Extraction team always ready to save your brain-president from fighting

  • “Okay sounds good”

  • Once everyone else goes to sleep later you’re allowed to stay awake and be secret mad

  • There’s a whole room in the Mind Palace just for being secret mad

  • Socrates lives in there

  • He agrees that you are right

  • Now you have so much energy for doing whatever other people want

  • no doorbells in the Mind Palace no visitors

  • inside Palace flawless fight-winning record

  • also a championship belt

  • Outside harmony inside good sustaining life secrets! Outside koi pond (surface) inside koi pond (beautiful golden koi of secret ideas)

  • “No one knows I hate this” means I’m strong

  • YOU’RE fighting with me, I’M singing “An English Teacher” from Bye Bye Birdie (Chita Rivera version) inside my beautiful thought-castle….who’s REALLY getting their way?

  • Brain is a big world-turtle draped in dark quiet moss

  • you’ll see my opinion when I decide to publish the morning edition and not a minute before!

  • “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now, can I take a message?”

  • fun mean bouncer version of you gets to defend the velvet rope of Thoughts against intruders like roommates, friends, and lovers

  • the California Raisins live here and they sing me a song every night