I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town

yes

I am the horrible creeping bag of sound that is the most worst to you! I will use my beak to mischief you and I will press B. I wobble my snake-front-body and I waggle my bag-back-body and they meet in the middle to plan a bad idea to upset you. I flap back and forth my business rear for balancing and I snapple-pap my feet all up and down the town for terrible reasons, and you don’t like it. I am the goose and you are the miserable boy with no honk. I invented my body and it was the best idea.

Honk! Honk! I flap open my back in celebration when I make victory over the fence, when I smash it from its lock, when I smash it down, when I undo all of your doing. Here I honk! I hold up all of my wings and I make more layers of me, the goose that hates your family.

These are the keys that you do not have! I am flat and racing over the earth and you are all the way stood up, all the way confused, all the way overalls and no ideas. I make a fight between yourself and your memory. I wet your feet because I do not respect them, I wet them with a lake, and I am lake-satisfaction.

Your garden? I make it terrible! I make a puzzle of your garden! I hustle up your carrots and remove all rakes for a punishment to you. Theft puts a parade into my walk, I am so proud to steal from you and your bad family, who are no good to me and are not geese. I am the most goose who ever was, and I am enough goose for the whole town, because I am a little white heartbeat that moves very fast, more fast than anything else, for surprises.

My business is the worst business and you have it. Here I come! I’ll take any big thing, small thing meant for hiding, widest thing, right in my beak and hustle it away from your permission, because I don’t agree with property and never have. Here I come again! You cannot anticipate me because your brain is so big and weighty and far from the ground, but my brain is aerodynamic and small and ground-sure and I have all I need in my wicked goose-body, and also I have your radio.

Where is the boy for me to disrespect? I am his least friend. I see his games an I contempt them. I ruin his life! Glasses for him? No! Shoelaces for him? No! I make every escape. I am the pest of his whole awful body but my body is so smooth and good. My body works. My body is the softest triangle with a hose attached, strong and useful and all the way sweetheart. You need everything but I have it. I put my honk in a jar so there is more honk! I honk at you, I honk directly up to God, and I will never leave! You will never be well again, and I will trouble your father all of the time. I am all a triumph, I am the most successful goose, and you are misery with suffering and hopeless with loss. I have the beautiful bell in my mouth, and now I have two honks, and you have nothing to say. There is a beautiful golden bell in my mouth and your mouth is so, so empty, because you hate me, the great goose with a mouth. I am tremendous! Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose. I will run around with my bell as much as I want and you will make despair. Here comes the goose! Here comes the goose bell! Everybody be awake to the goose now and from now on! You liked this village so much before the goose came and ironed over all of your peace, but I’ll bring soda-can-and-boot-trash into your bed and mouth. You’ll never be the goose, and I already am the goose as most as a goose can be, all coiled up and ready to ungoose again.

Pre-order Something That May Shock and Discredit You here.