ONE NIGHT ONLY: THE TOAST IS BACK

Nicole and Nicole and I thought it would be fun to Brigadoon The Toast for the day, so if you point your cursor and your heart in the direction of the hyphen Toast dot net, you will find yourself awash with content. For no reason, for the purpose of delight only. Please have yourself a very good time.

Mallory: Nicole is outside in the backyard picking up after her dog and she is eight months pregnant and it is hilarious.

RELATED: the other day Nicole and I had lunch at a VERY fancy restaurant that had peacocks just walking around (we both agreed that if we were male peacocks we would be furious at female peacocks for not keeping up their end of the hotness bargain) and she accidentally spilled coffee all over herself and my instinctive, immediate response was to burst out laughing, which made me so happy, because it means that I have lost the very very last of my Guest Manners when I am with her. The only people I would laugh at for spilling coffee on themselves are my immediate family and Nicole, end of list.

I can see the top of Nicole’s head through the window and I can’t stop laughing. I should help.

Nicole: I’m so glad the sight of me, hugely pregnant, bending over to collect dog poop was a source of genuine joy to you! I have enjoyed our time together so immensely that knowing you are departing on the morrow is not yet something I can process or acknowledge.