Minute Zero: I am perfectly on time. I am at one with all things created and eternal. I am a stern and beautiful man of my word. Every morning I take Queen Victoria’s train to the Crystal Palace, where I am a model of efficiency and, like the angels in heaven, am neither married nor given in marriage. Soon – very soon – I will behold the cherished faces of my friends and colleagues alike, at the appointed hour and not a jot sooner, not a tittle later. We will clasp one another by the hand and by the waist, and we will be as good as our word and our bond.