Thursday, January 18, 20182 likes1 comment

The Stages Of Unloading The Dishwasher When You Live With Other People

When you, yourself, walk past the dishwasher and see the blinking light that accompanies the condition of Being Done and unload the machine yourself

  • An immediate, full-body, immersive memory experience of every other time you have ever unloaded this dishwasher or any other. You feel every cup you have ever held in your hand, hear every cabinet door you have ever swung open; you are a stalwart, hearty peasant woman whose knees ache after an honest day’s work and you live in a den of thieves, among ruined hearts and lying lips

  • The number of times you have unloaded a dishwasher without assistance in your entire life floats automatically up before your eyes, ticking up by single digits like a slot machine until reaching the present count. 1, 2. 3! You were only a child! 48, 49, 50! No one helped you! 113, 114, 115! You put the big spoons in their own cutlery slot, and the smaller spoons in a different one! You invented that! Before you, there was just a big pile of spoons of incompatible head sizes! They were impossible to stack properly! 291, 292, 293! There was no dishwasher in that house but your hands! Your hands smelled always a little bit like old sponge! No one spared you from your fate! 999, 1000, 1001! They saw the blinking light! They all saw the blinking light! They knew what the blinking light meant! And yet they walked on! They walked on without stopping to help their fellow-man, like the priest and the Levite on the road to Jericho! They would kill you, if they thought they could get away with it!

  • “I believe in that goodly mansion, his heart, he kept one little place under the skylights where Lucy might have entertainment, if she chose to call. It was not so handsome as the chambers where he lodged his male friends; it was not like the hall where he accommodated his philanthropy, or the library where he treasured his science, still less did it resemble the pavilion where his marriage feast was splendidly spread; yet, gradually, by long and equal kindness, he proved to me that he kept one little closet, over the door of which was written " Lucy's Room." I kept a place for him, too—a place of which I never took the measure, either by rule or compass: I think it was like the tent of Peri-Banou. All my life long I carried it folded in the hollow of my hand—yet, released from that hold and constriction, I know not but its innate capacity for expanse might have magnified it into a tabernacle for a host.”

  • There is no end to the Wheel of Chores! The sun ascends, and the sun descends again, and always there are more forks to put away! There will never be a time when you have no obligation towards forks, either to use and dirty them and place them in the dishwasher, or to lift them out of their carrier and place them back in the drawer!

  • “The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again. All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us. There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.”

  • The day will come when they have need of you! The cowards who live in your house! The day shall arrive, the need shall come, and you will not save them! They are enemies of collectivism!!!

  • THIS HOUSE RESTS NOT ON A FOUNDATION OF STONE OR BRICK BUT ON YOUR SHOULDERS

When you walk past the dishwasher, see the blinking light that accompanies the condition of Doneness and do not unload the machine

  • Surely it was you who unloaded it last!

  • If not you, surely you have unloaded it recently enough that you might in all clearness of conscience pass it by!

  • What is the hurry? Is a meal imminent? Is the need for cutlery so pressing, so immediate, that you cannot set aside five minutes to enjoy your day, to remind yourself that you are a human being, fashioned by Nature’s hand and by the Lord God’s too, not merely an automaton, a machine, an instrument of dishes? Does not the dishwasher serve you and your needs, and not the other way round?

  • You will unload it – ‘deed, in your own thoughts, you already have unloaded it, which means that it is already someone else’s turn!

  • The dishwasher is likely hot, and full of steam, which might destroy your hands and render you unfit to ever unload a dishwasher again! You will open the door, and release the steam, and allow the dishes to cool down, which is the first stage of unloading the dishwasher! If someone else happens to come along and see the dishwasher breathing its steam-sigh into the kitchen, then that is no fault of yours!

  • Every member of this household should be responsible for their own dishes! Why should you replace a plate that you did not use, a cup that did not nourish your lips? Look to your own eye, brother! Attend to the plank that is there, then we may speak of the mote in mine!

  • The light was faint and easy to miss!

  • Who notices such things, anyhow? Are you to be constantly scanning your own home for signs of new chores to do? Who could see such a small light? Only an eye looking for faults, a critical eye, an eye that does not love, could have seen it!

  • What is a dishwasher! I have never heard such a word in my life! I am but a humble farmer, who tills the soil and eats with her hands, and has no needment for such enjoinery, such fanciment, such a machine-hearted thing to live in my kitchen and spit soap and steam on my crockery! Begone and avaunt, and speak no more to me of this! I have real matters to attend to, matters of the heart and of the hands, not this fanciful dishware obligation you would foist upon me! I stand alone before God and I answer to none else but Him!

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