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Why subscribe?

Well, why do anything, really. Because you particularly wish to, I suppose. If you'd like to periodically be emailed very upsetting absurdist lesbian House Hunters International fan fiction, or you long to know what commercials I hate right now, or where Sam Neill falls on the Stanley Tucci Gently Avuncular Continuum, this place is for you.

Benefit the first, miss nothing

Reading the twice-weekly newsletters will mean that nothing will stand between the perfect communion of my thoughts and yours. Also, there are character limits on Twitter.

Benefit the second: Ally yourself with the Shatner-Chatner community, who are surely members of the elect

You will become a part of something greater than yourself, the collective body of Shatner Chatnerers, and crown yourself with glory in so doing. Also, you can email me directly and ask questions; it will be the tin-can phone you and your little brother never strung up between your bedrooms so you could whisper beautiful, diamond-encrusted secrets into one another's ears.

What readers say

Before I saw through a glass but darkly; now I see face to face. Before I knew the Chatner only in part; now I know as I am also known.

— The Apostle Paul

You've got the Genesis device, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me. You're going to have to come down here. You're going to have to come down here!

— La Shatner

FAQ

How much does it cost?

$5 a month! This is so I can do things like purchase more character wigs for my Joan and Anna videos and return the profits directly to you, the reader, but if you're a student, or low-income, or find the cost otherwise prohibitive, email support+mallelis@substack.com and I'll make sure no one who seeks the Shatner Chatner is turned away for lack of funds.

What do I get when I subscribe?

In addition to the 4 free issues per month, there are 8 weekly issues that are only for subscribers.

Can I forward the emails?

When it comes to the free posts, feel free to spread them as far and as wide as you like, on whatever platform you currently prefer. Occasionally forwarding subscribers-only emails is just fine too.